No matter the reasons behind a divorce, it is inevitable that you’ll feel a sense of loss at some point. Divorce is a difficult process for anyone, and it will take its toll emotionally no matter who you are.
Guys are raised and seem expected to be immune to these sorts of issues, but I can tell you that no matter how tough you think you are, divorce is going to hurt. Divorce is the end to an extremely important period of your life, and I don’t think anyone is strong enough to completely avoid the pain that comes along with ending a marriage.
It is important for anyone going through this process to realize they will eventually have to find a way to deal with their emotions in a positive way to avoid falling into a depression. This is particularly true of men, who face a much higher rate of post-divorce depression.
First, you need to recognize that feelings of sadness or resentment are all part of the healing process. Ending a marriage is tough on everyone, so it isn’t abnormal to feel that way. However, the way you deal with these feelings is what separates the people who are able to bounce back from divorce and those who get stuck in a rut.
You need to avoid grieving the end of the marriage and try to avoid keeping everything bottled up inside. Men are notorious for keeping their personals problems to themselves, and that probably works for many smaller issues.
However, divorce is not a smaller issue and having someone to talk to, whether it’s a friend, family member, someone from your church, or professional therapist, will be enormously helpful. Just having someone willing to listen can be extremely helpful for working through this difficult time in your life. You also shouldn’t feel any sort of stigma for seeking a counselor, since therapists exist and are trained to help people through these sorts of problems.
You’ll also want to keep your divorce separated from your daily life so it doesn’t end up spilling over into anything else, such as work or doing what you can to continue being there for your family. This is particularly important if you have kids. They are also going through a very difficult transition, so when you are with them, you need to make sure they are getting all the attention. They do not need to hear the details of what has been going on in the divorce.
There are lots of things that can help you work through the sense of loss that accompanies divorce, such as picking up new hobbies, working out (which is extremely useful for dealing with stress), putting extra focus into work, and continuing to have normal, daily interactions with people. You need to find some sort of distraction or constructive project that takes up your time and energy so you don’t end up dwelling too much on the negatives of the divorce
Finally, while you are going through a divorce, I would highly recommend you get an attorney if you are able to. Even with an attorney to take care of the legal stuff, the stress of divorce can be overwhelming, and I can only imagine how much more difficult going through this process without representation must be. Having someone in your corner that you trust to help carry the burden and protect your rights, such as the attorneys of Cordell & Cordell, makes it much easier handle.
Divorce is an extremely draining process full of stress and emotional turmoil. How you handle the complex feelings that arise in divorce will directly affect how quickly you are able to move on after it is over. Find someone willing to listen and something productive to focus on, and you will have a much easier time dealing with your emotions and avoiding post-divorce depression.